Mother-Loving DMV, Take II

I'm not quite sure how to feel besides murderous after an entire summer's worth of work was put to waste by a nasty little prick of a motherfucker who gets his jollies from jacking around honest-to-goodness student drivers just trying to get their faces put on a goddamn holographic card with the California state seal on top. But well, I suppose the most anyone's told me so far was that it was just a horrible run-in with a heap of bad luck.
I wonder if anyone's documented this particular phenomenon as of yet, but apparently at 1:45 pm today, every single last choad in El Cerrito decided to take to the road. This of course had the unfortunate timing of coinciding with my scheduled drive test. Massively unfortunate. Far more unfortunate still, was the fact that I ended up driving around the same COCKGOBBLER involved in last Friday's driving test failure. His name is Ramon, apparently, as I found out today. I didn't realize that drive testers were required to give their names - of course, I suppose maybe he just didn't have the balls to give his name out last week, especially after his ridiculous driving assessment (see Mother-Loving DMV entry number 1).
Short summary: after only going on 4 different roads total, I ran into three different jerk drivers.
1) Not 20 feet from the DMV parking lot exit, I ran into a driver we will denote here as Fuckwad #1...
... The DMV is located on a street which ends at a stop signed T intersection, forcing drivers to turn either left or right. All the cars turn right out of the DMV parking lot and continue on this street until they reach the end and make their turns. I follow Fuckwad #1 along this street in stop-and-go traffic up towards the stop sign. I assume that he is stopped because he is waiting at the stop sign for his turn to go. At this point, I hear Ramon the Cockgobbler muttering something. It is then that I realize that Fuckwad #1 is, in fact, stopped in the middle of the road because he has driven past a parking space he has spotted, which I have closed off his access to. Apparently, I was supposed to recognize that he wanted this space because of his "parking lights," despite the fact that the rest of it was devoid of turn signal, courtesy, and common sense. Ramon the Cockgobbler, it appears, has standards of saintliness and telepathy regarding other drivers being jerky on the road.

2) Ramon the Cockgobbler, irked that I didn't immediately realize that Fuckwad #1 wanted to back up on top of my car, takes me up some narrow streets (thinking that I'll do something that's actually _my_ fault so he has a legitimate reason to fail me), where I go EXACTLY 25 mph on, remembering last Friday's complaint of "you're going too slow." We approach a construction area on a hill where I'm supposed to make a left turn. I have the great fortune of having a large tractor parked on the street corner, blocking my view of the oncoming traffic coming downhill. After nosing out a reasonably safe distance in order to see past said tractor and noting it was clear on both sides, I start to make my left turn when suddenly, from the corner of the next street (a mere 2 houses away from where I'm making my turn), Fuckwad #2 makes a right turn around the corner and comes barreling up the hill without looking for cars making left turns. Now, noting this, instinct would've made me hastily complete my left turn such as not to block up traffic, realizing that I could make it without his car hitting me as long as I didn't hesitate. However, Ramon the Cockgobbler yells "stop!" thus causing me to stop in the middle of traffic, and screwing everything up - obviously again, the mistake of a speeding, unwary driver is apparently my fault.

3) Of course, realizing that these mistakes, however large, were really not my fault, because both times, the drivers of other vehicles were either speeding or going up traffic the wrong way, Ramon the Immense Cockgobbler, decides to purposely direct me into a situation for which he could fail me and get it over with (little assmunch he is): he directs me onto a main drag, where I proceed to do the speed limit, and requests that I make a lane change to the right. Of course, Ramon the Cockgobbler certainly couldn't have proceeded with the driving test like a courteous MOTHERFUCKER, because this right lane change took my car into a lane in which Fuckwad #3, the driver of a large Pepsi truck, has double-parked in without lights on and has proceeded to unload his cargo. A truck, mind you, which we both SAW IN ADVANCE and KNEW IN ADVANCE would be blocking traffic. Upon seeing this truck, however, Ramon the Cockgobbler, of course, does not instruct me to change back into the left lane. In fact, the little shit says nothing at all, causing a bit of confusion. Did he expect me to wait? I asked if he wanted me to go around, and received no answer except for a few gutteral grunts. So, deciding for myself that I wasn't going to give a flying fuck about what Ramon the Cockgobbler was thinking, slowed down so as not to hit the truck, and changed into the left lane to go around. It was of course, for this that Ramon the Cockgobbler failed me. Apparently, my left lane change was "sloppily executed" because I didn't maintain the 35 mph speed limit - I slowed down so as not to hit the illegally parked Pepsi truck. Of course, I should've realized from Ramon the Cockgobbler's earlier actions that he has a death wish - and well, at the rate he's going, it won't be too long from now before someone acts on their murderous thoughts of him and all I can say is that it would just be poetic justice if an irate driving student he failed comes back to pick him up, throw him out of a rapidly moving vehicle on a sharp left turn, then backs up in a straight line three vehicle lengths and runs him down once more, before making a three point turn over his mangled body, and then parking a Pepsi truck on him. I'd certainly laugh.

'Nuff said at this point, I suppose. He's ruined an entire summer's worth of work by being an assmonger beyond belief - but I suppose that the man's just got to get his jollies somehow (since no amount of cash could convince even the world's most desperate and diseased hooker to provide him with "companionship"). I hate driving so much at this point that I'm not sure I even want to bother wasting time during my precious vacation days in December at the DMV, only to be subjected to his fucktacular presence again. Hell, he already heard me badmouthing him in the car with my dad after the first time (which he deemed important enough to mention at the end of the driving assessment), I don't see why I shouldn't roll down the window next exam and say "YOU AGAIN? You fucktard, don't you touch my car, I'm waiting for the other examiner because I'm not about to let a worthless cretin like you dirty the passenger side seat." And then maybe roll back and run over his foot during vehicle check-in.
A high school friend has suggested that I utilize the vast resources of the internet to set up a forum in which others can villify Ramon after taking the drive test and to advertise said site with flyers and word-of-mouth at the DMV. In the meantime, I'm thinking of looking into acquiring various contact information and posting it for abuse on already-established forums.

Further bulletins as events warrant.