Little [Asian] Women

There's a lot I don't know about my heritage and culture - it seems the older I get, the closer I come to touching the rites of womanhood and unspoken traditions and values that surround my fellow Asian-American women today. But today, like every other day, I regarded as an exceptionally valuable learning experience and true cultural exposure.
I'd always known about the Asian tradition of parking lot courtesy - the Chinese are a wise old lot, and as my mother has always pointed out to me, we'd never have lived this long if we hadn't been the savvy bunch we are. There's real reasoning behind the old Confucian warning for everyone to "stay the hell out of the parking lot at the 99 Ranch Market Pacific East Mall on Sunday mornings when all the little old women who can barely peer over the steering wheel and the rude middle-aged squaws in their massive family-touting vehicles are cruising around looking for a parking spot." And truly, I wouldn't be the person I am today had my mother not told me early on in my developmental years that "there were evil spirits living in my shoes, and that throwing them at my brother would be like cursing him." For that gracious nugget of wisdom, I now know *exactly* how to curse someone's spirit with a dog shit-caked commando boot.
But today, oh today, I was truly moved by the mindset of the Asian-American women around me. The very first way in which I was moved today occurred at lunchtime, when I was invited by the life-planned Asian-American intern (referenced in past Bubonic Plague Luncheonette entries) to have lunch with her and her boyfriend/scheduled husband once she turns 25. Of course, upon calling her boyfriend, she discovered that he had packed a bag lunch and was dining in the comfort of his cubicle in his office down the street. So the intern and I had a long lunch conversation over cafeteria food about her many aspirations in life - after a friendly interrogation about the admission system at MIT for the master's program, it became very evident that part of her life plan was to go to MIT for grad work. I believe what tipped me off was "oh yes, MIT. I've so wanted to go there, you know, because it's like The school. The name, you know? It really helps you get that edge. So I'm thinking I'll go there for grad school, because I'm planning to get at least a master's."
A master of engineering from MIT, eh? I felt compelled then to at least explain to her that MIT is on a cutthroat 5-point grade scale, and shared my dream to also perhaps attend MIT and get a master of science, as my GPA doesn't quite make the cut for MEng. Luckily for me, she explained at great length that her GPA was "pretty good." This engrossing series of questions was followed up by her asking me "what are you concentrating in? You know, in engineering." I was unfortunately confused by her question, as I clearly had no idea what she meant by "concentration." Fortunately for me, though, I was clearly relieved of my ignorance, as she explained that there are 4 different kinds of electrical engineering. At least, apparently at her school. She then proceeded to tell me about how she was thinking of double-concentrating, but mostly focusing on Communications, because "that's where the money is, and I'm in it for the money." Her clever reasoning behind this is that she figured "Communications is where the money is, but really, I'm much more interested in the business side of things. But I'm good at engineering. Engineering comes easy to me, so I figured 'why not go for what you're good at?' I'll get a good technical background, and then enter the business side of things from that end, instead of the other way around, you see? It gives me more job options, in case the business side of things goes belly up, I can always find a job in the technical industry. I mean, I feel like I've been wasting my time, but I think I don't need to study business because, you know, everybody can be good at business, you don't need a degree, you just watch."
Clearly, she taught me that you don't need an MBA in order to be a powerhouse businessperson! Silly me! I'm such a dipshit. And here I was thinking all along that MIT's Sloan School of Business was a prestigious institution. Pfft, she'd never even heard of it. Of course you don't need an MBA to be a successful businessperson who makes mad sacks of cash. Hell no, go into Communications! It seemed like the perfect idea - unfortunately, I found myself once again ignorant, as I had to ask "what exactly do you do in Communications?" I'm afraid I just wasn't able to comprehend her explanation, which included the words "stuff" and "I'm not sure, exactly" - I think it was just a bit complicated, but surely I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. After all, she'd only finished her second year in college, and there was no way she'd be able to know anything about her declared EE major. What kind of electrical engineer are you going to be? The electrical kind, of course! Silly me. And twice the shame on me for using the outmoded abbreviation of A.I. for artificial intelligence - of course no one's going to know what I'm taking about. How can intelligence be artificial anyways?
The entire lunchtime conversation was wholly enlightening - I learned that there are 4 kinds of electrical engineering, "Communications" is where the money is, and that an MBA is wholly unecessary for a successful business career. I felt truly humbled by the wisdom and the values that my fellow Asian-American woman was brought up to uphold, and I felt truly moved that she chose to share it with me. In fact, immediately after our lunch, my bowels experienced such a movement, that I shall remember it for years to come.
The second ancient wisdom I learned today was the joy of learning with others. Nearing the end of my workday, I was compelled to give a lesson about the concept of what the frequency domain is in terms of signal processing, why we use signal processing, "yes, this has to do with Communications," and "this is what a transistor is." I especially enjoyed the fact that I too could slowly learn about the mysterious "concentration" known as Communications by answering repeated questions of "oh, is this Communications?" Perhaps someday, I will grasp the true meaning of Communications.
My third, and perhaps most moving moment of the day came during a conversation with my aunt in the car ride home from the airport. We exchanged the usual pleasantries, early on in which she inquired "do you have a boyfriend yet?" After responding with "yes, I've got a boyfriend, he lives in Massachusetts," and answering a myriad of questions about him, I discovered a number of things, including the fact that apparently his nationality, his age (of course, I took some creative liberties with answering this question, as it seemed that there was only a small appropriate range in which I could answer), his height, and apparently his dietary restrictions, are all defining qualities in what makes him a good person to be with. What a good thing to know! I'd never even considered the importance of his height in relation to mine! I mean, it's definitely important to have a tall boyfriend if I ever want to be able to show my face in public without having to bear the onus of a paper sack over my head! And what of the fact that my boyfriend isn't Asian? Oh, he must clearly be someone to look out for. Wouldn't want to let any good little Asian kids around him. They might let their hair grow out, god forbid! Or me, I guess for that matter, as I'm sure I've dishonored us enough for the both of us!
And you know what? I never would've known that apparently we're not in what my aunt would consider a "stable relationship," as he's clearly not proposed to me yet! And here I was vaguely worrying about what I'm going to pack for lunch tomorrow. Who's got time for lunch, when I'm apparently supposed to be thinking about marriage? Tuna sandwich with pickles or a Vera Wang gown in ivory? Decisions decisions!
I've learned so much from these two massive influences in my life, just from conversations from today alone. Who knew that there are modern Asian women every bit as prudent, wise, and well-prioritized as Confucius himself? I certainly didn't. I was moved greatly twice today - and I certainly can't give all of the credit to the suspicious blackened-chicken panini with guacamole that I've had riding in my backpack since 11 am. I'll move forward from this to reflect upon some of the ideas that I'm associated with when I say "I'm a modern Asian-American woman."
For those of you who have adjusted the sarcasm knob down in order to suppress the raging tides spewing forth from this entry, you man now return your settings to a normal comfortable level.

Further (less sarcastic) bulletins as events warrant.